Polyamory vs Poly Fuckery… The debate of all time.
I think that this is a debate that seems to happen and folks are very closed minded to the opposing side. I have seen friendships end over this kind of stuff. And instead of fighting about it we should all be working together to build a community of accepting people. That said……I respect your choices, but that word, Polyamory, I don’t think it means what you think it means.
If you are searching for partners and you happen to have sex with many people in the process… I agree. If however you are a person out to have a lot of sex… Then I think the term you are looking for is Poly-Fuckery. The word Polyamory means “Many LOVES” Love implies the deep emotional connection that Lust and Sex dont have. Love does not equal sex. The sooner society gets past the belief that Love and sex are equal the better.
HOWEVER, One can still identify as Polyamorous and have multiple sex partners as well. This is why its very hard to define Polyamory and build a movement for equal recognition of our relationships.
Your polys not my poly… ands thats ok. A class I teach talks about all the different types of polyamory and how different people define it. Polyamory is a subset of a larger umbrella relationship structure called Non-Monogamy. In that many things fall under. Swinging, cheating, Polyamory, Polygamy, Polyfidelity, poly fuckery and others.Calling Poly Fuckery, Swinging, Cheating, or other Non Mono structure Polyamory does a great disservice to BOTH groups of people. In that it dilutes the definition of both groups and works against those who are working for equal recognition for ALL.
Likewise, one could say that separating them puts both groups at a disadvantage by not joining forces as it were. IMO until both groups have a stable definition of what they are neither can stand together or apart. The groups of Non Mono people have to accept that there are different types of Nonmono. AND THATS OK. Its OK to be Poly-Fuckery, or Monogamously Swinging, or polyamorous. Each one is wonderful and gives the person practicing it what they want in relationships. But they arent all the same style of relationship… Thats what makes it so great is that we have choices and the ability to define our relationships.
FUCK labels… Thats what Im working towards. But until we each embrace our label and own who we are and what we are doing, the reset of the world will NEVER accept us nonmono people. There will always be shame and ridicule on us. So Fuck who you want, love who you want, whatever blows your goat… but do it honestly and accept who you are