Comets, fast moving , bright, beautiful, awe inspiring, gone too soon and come around every so often. Comets are fascinating, beautiful and marvelous creations. Often we call the Shooting stars. What is so incredible is the feeling they give us as they streak across our sky. Passing us for sometimes only fractions of a second. If the comet burns out, there’s always a piece you can pick up and carry away. And in that you can always carry the memory of the moment you saw it. How wonderful it is to see that, experience it…. Do you remember your first?
Now how does this transfer to relationships, cause that’s what I always , almost, talk about.
In relationships, especially in the community of consensual nonmonogamy, “Comets” refer to those people who you are connected to us, be it closely or tangentially, who when they come into your life, no matter how brief, the relationship’s intensity magnifies. Things are bright and fun and exciting… much like that of when a comet swings through the Earth’s atmosphere. The passion is great and intense.
I have a few comets in my life. Most of them are long distant partners. Living hundreds or thousands of miles apart puts strains on physical relationships that can sometimes lead things to transition to non physical, or emotional only. Sometimes those connections become only physical. The important part is that no matter what form they choose to become, they are meaningful and valid. We have actively chosen to have the dynamic be what it is. We love each other in whatever way is right for each of us.
For me these relationships are important parts of my life. They are people that I have met around the country or world, that have influenced me, loved me, held me while I cried,laughed with me, and taught me things. They captured a piece of me and chose a piece of themself to share with me if even for a moment. They have a special place in my life and I consider them all my partners and love them dearly.
What I had to learn was, not all relationships have a ‘stairway to heaven” sometimes heaven is on the ground floor. I had to stop looking beyond right now for fulfillment in my relationships. Freely accept what is freely given in the moment. This philosophy has given me more joy in the past 5 years than living the script for the 25 before that. Growth is powerful, painful and worth every moment.
Why live for happily ever after when you can have Happily RIGHT NOW.