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Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit Recap.

WARNING This Post may contain links that may take the reader to adult themed websites.  We discuss sex, sexual freedom and personal sexual expression in this post.  NO sexual images or content are hosted on this site or this post.  LINKS NSFW with exceptions.

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way……

Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit was amazing, exciting, and informative.  I must say, one of the best conferences I’ve been to, and I’ve been to many.  I have to stop and say though if it were not for Tantus I would not have been able to attend.  They hosted a scholarship for admission via a Twitter contest.  I entered and happened to win!  Thanks TANTUS!  I owe all this to you!
Tantus

Now,Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit (SFS from now on), is held in Virginia by the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance. ” The Sexual Freedom Summit features human rights activists, sexuality educators and researchers, professionals from the legal and medical fields, authors, sexual freedom movement leaders and organizational partners all working toward the time when sexual freedom is fully recognized as a fundamental human right.  This Summit is for EVERYONE interested in learning about the issues in the realm of sexual freedom, advancing their current knowledge and in gaining the tools to actually create the change we need to accomplish.” And advance my knowledge they did.
Woodhull's Sexual Freedom Summit

Friday I arrived in time for the lunch break and I got to catch up with friends I had not seen in some time.  Of course I did some networking with new folks and made connections that will hopefully bring new and exciting opportunities for all of us in the community.  (More on that another time.)  It became apparent quickly that I was a little fish in a new, large, expansive ocean.  Most of the people I was meeting had LOTS of letters and titles behind their names.  I became pretty aware that I was in a new class of conference.  None the less, I was treated fairly, and on par with everyone. At no point did anyone talk down or act as if they were “dumbing-down” the content or conversation for me.  It was ok to stop them and ask to have something explained or expanded in detail to make sure I understood it.

As the classes got started for the afternoon session, I was torn on what to go to. There were so many exciting classes it was difficult to choose.  Finally I settled on Sex, Laws & Videos: Legal Updates from Woodhull’s Free Speech Advocates (#SFSLegal)
Presented by: Luke Lirot, Lawrence G. Walters, Esq.  This class was not all legalese and lawyer speak.  It was a real world look at how the current laws are affecting sex work and sexuality across the US and where the laws are heading.   I’ll be doing a recap blog post of each of the classes I participated in (with exception of one). This class had lots of great insights into the current state of laws and sex.

Next I went to the Friday Keynote.  Keynote: From Slacktivism to Meaningful Action: Using Tech to Fight for Freedom Presented by: Aida Manduley, MSW, Trina Scott, Cindy Lee Alves .  This was by far one of the best keynotes I have even been to. This group of women from the Women Of Color Sexual Health Network presented this in a way that made me think, made me uncomfortable (in a good way) made me open my mind to view things differently, and then made me cry with the empowerment of a people. This was inspiring and incredibly powerful.   Thank you WOCSHN!

After the Keynote it was dinner and social time mostly.  There was a carnival themed dance and entertainment, but after being awake since 4AM for my flight, I was in no shape to stay up and party.  I crashed out at about 10:30.

Up early in the AM on Saturday for a 3.5 mile run on the treadmill.  It was a run day and there’s no cheating on run day, even if I’m traveling. So up,  run, and grab some breakfast before the first set of classes.   Breakfast was provided by one of the sponsors,

First class of the day, It’s Different for Men: Masculine Victims of Sexual Assault (#SFSAssault) Presented by: Sebastian Sprague M.Ed..  This is the class that I will not be posting a blog entry / review on other than what I say here.  We discussed the effects and causes of sexual assault on men.  Men as victims and why most men don’t come forward to report abuse and assault. Patriarchy, misogyny, and macho-ism.   Systems that harm women, also harm men.   This was a very good class and discussion . We asked that the specifics of our time together be kept confidential.  However personal statement will not be included.  Not even my own.   I did take some photos of the presentation which we were told we could share so I may post those with a bit longer description. This class set the tone for my Saturday however, exploring uncomfortable topics.

A short coffee break, sponsored by Chaturbate.  and then back to the learning and brain work.

 

Decolonizing Sex Positivity – Re-thinking Inclusivity (#SFSInclusive)
Presented by: Sonalee Rashatwar, Nafeesa Dawoodbhoy .  This was  a very interesting introspective class that really left me thinking about all the ways we colonize things in our lives.  It challenged the thought that things are like my experience everywhere.  That just because I see the world like X doesn’t make it so. And in order to be truly accepting and inclusive we must accept that another’s view of the world is not only different, but also equally valid as our own, at times even more so.  I have said it in classes about other things but its the idea that Different is no more right or wrong, it is only different.  Of course there is a lot more to it … and Ill expand in my post about this class.

This brings us to the Lunch break that was catered by the hotel and provided by the conference. I could not believe that the day was already half over.  As I joined everyone for the Vicki Recipients’ Roundtable Luncheon Presented by: Carmen Vazquez, Scout, Kenyon Farrow, Carol Leigh AKA Scarlot Harlot, Megan Andelloux, I wasn’t sure what to expect.  Yea, its a round table and the award recipients will most likely speak that part I got. What I wasn’t expecting was the level of impact that these award winning social justice warriors have had on the community over all and specifically in their areas of work.  Remember I am a little fish in a big new ocean.  I’m used to local level organizers.  This is where it began to strike me just why I was here.  More about this epiphany in my detail Round-table post.

After the round-table I was in brain overload.  I had so many concepts and thoughts sparked alive that morning, I needed a break.  so I wandered around, played a little Pokemon Go, went to my room and vegged out.  A nice, much needed break.

As the next round of classes was getting ready to begin, I felt a lot better and decided to head back down to participate some more.

The class selection was again challenging, but I saw one that looked very interesting.
Just Don’t Talk About It: The Current State of Men’s Sexual Health, Expression, and Exploration in the United States (#SFSMen) Presented by: David Mandell, Dr. Andrew Siegel, Paul R. Nelson, CCMA, Robert Heasley, PhD, LMFT, Leo Donato . These men and the way that they talked about mens health, they engaged and questioned beliefs and explained issues in a way that was, beautiful.  These men were well educated on their topic, they have good resources and sparked a lot of conversation.  My biggest take away from this class can be found here on my twitter. “When educated about sex from porn you aren’t learning how to have sex.” Men learn how to fuck.  But not how to have meaningful, loving sexual intimacy. More in my SFSMen Post coming soon!

After SFS Men it was again dinner time.  The day was almost over.  Other than the nighttime entertainment and dance later on there wasn’t much more to be done.  I wandered here and there caught up with some new friends, watched some of the Olympics, talked about relationships, ate cheese and bacon fries at the bar…  it was a good time.   I decided to head up to the room and pack my bags.  My 615 Flight meant I once again had to be ready to go at 4AM to the Airport.  Sheesh, will I never learn?  LOL  But I digress….

The evening party time was more award presentations and acceptance speeches from activists.  One of whom made a remark that was so impcatful on me it it is still ringing in my ears today…  “Bisexual erasure by the LGBTQ community isn’t even a microaggression- it’s a macroaggression. Why are there still LGBT organizations that are run only by L or G people? Why aren’t there bisexuals at the helm too?” –@Scoutout   Scout’s story is amazing as well.  But he makes a good point…..

I headed to bed about 10:30, settled in and had everything ready to go , set the alarm.  As I lay down, my brain starts processing everything I have taken in this weekend.  ALL AT ONCE!  I am racing with ideas, topics for discussion, new classes, blog posts… DAMMIT BRAIN SILENCE   I must sleep…  11 comes and goes, still wrenching my brain as it hits a new idea.  11:30… then 11:45.  I am finally able to stop it and that’s when it hits me like a ton of bricks.  You are here to experience the next level of activism.  You are here to see what a national organization can do to affect change, and support different communities while promoting a single root cause.  You are here to be inspired.

Not a day has gone by yet where I have not done something related to my experience at SFS.  Be it a blog post., Facebook outreach, building new workshops in other cities, reaching for our brand, starting new recognition programs, or just a thoughtful conversation about sexuality as a human right. SFS16 lit a fire under me and in me that I hope isn’t extinguished, ever.

I am again very thankful for the opportunity provided to me by TANTUS for the Membership and by Relationship Equality Foundation for paying my travel expenses. Thank you to the amazing presenters, speakers, moderators that lend their knowledge to this conference.  Thank you to the Organizers, staff and board of WoodHull.  This was a life changing experience.
If you would like to support more individuals having these types experiences, perhaps even yourself, then I highly recommend joining REF as a supporting member today.
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Catching up- You Me Her.

Hiya folks,

First, let me apologize for my absence.  Life has been pretty busy the last few weeks.  I am preparing to take and pass the CAPM exam this Friday.  Additionally,  Atlanta Poly Weekend is right around the corner and its all hands on deck planning team for that.  Also I have a family that wants to see  me and I need some me time every now and then.

Speaking of ME time looks like that’s what Izzy is going to be doing ….

So recapping quickly if you aren’t current,  Izzy went to Jack and Emma’s to try and patch things up from the whole bit where she scared the crap out of them emotionally.   ANd ends up doing it again.

Izzy,  who is truly head over heals in NRE with Jack and Emma,  is exhibiting classic NRE behavior or reading a lot into what’s happening, moving with emotions and not thinking through her actions.  And Jack and Emma,  being more seasoned in the long term relationship application of principles, seem to be moving with a fun and logical approach (in their eyes) to the decisions,  EVEN though those decisions do not take Izzy’s feelings into account. They don’t see that.  Until it’s too late and Izzy is hurt. They are confused.  And everything is upside down again.   This is where/how it becomes problematic in Poly relationships.  I think the show gets this right.

Izzy has been hurt a few times in quick succession and is scared that she is making huge mistakes that will end up ruining her life.  What’s a person to do?  Go Home.  Yep back to the safety of Mom and look for the guidance that was there as a child.   I understand this response.  There were many times in early poly days I wished I could run away from it all and find wisdom…..  But I didn’t have anywhere to run.  Izzy at least has a safe harbor to return to, clear her head, and then decide if this really is something she wants to pursue.

This show really highlights a phenomenon that happens a lot in the Poly community.  Where a couple has one set of expectations and a 3rd person comes in and has a different set of expectations. ANd the couple is looking out for the couple’s best interest (jobs, community standing, peer acceptance, etc)  and the 3rd individual just wants to be a part of something that they feel is really satisfying. In real life it isn’t always as fast a 7 days like it is in the show, although I have seen it move that quickly.

There is a lot of growth from this in the poly community as of late .  The focus is moving from couple centric thinking and practice to  an individuals right to choose what is best for themself.  In doing so it is really helping to circumvent some of the problems that come into poly relationships with regard to hierarchy and power exchange.

I kinda wish they had more time to put into the show to highlight the resolutions styles that the people are using.  But hey its a first season sitcom,  what can I expect.  A LOT more communication takes place than what they are able to show in the time they have allowed.  And sometimes, its not as pretty as TV would depict it.  Don’t get me wrong, this show isn’t all rainbows and puppy dogs, however,  conversations go more like “The Morning After” a lot more frequently than one would think.  ESPECIALLY early in the relationship building period.

I want to bring to light one thing that I haven’t touched on yet… Jack and Emma,  they still have the same problem they had before Izzy came into the picture.   Granted they are having sex,  but they didn’t do anything to FIX that problem… All they did was introduce a distraction from that problem.  ANd that is how they are treating Izzy as well, as a distracting, treatment for an underlying issue that they both are contributing to.  Polyamory, is NOT a cure for a hurting relationship.  I think Jack and Emma have some personal issues that they need to work on before they can be individually healthy enough to move into a full Poly relationship.  Jack is insecure and unsure of himself,  Emma feels alone and without support from her partner of many years.
IN MY OPINION.  Relationship problems = People Problems.  I don’t care what kind of relationship one is in….. If it has issues, problems or isn’t working the way it was when you started,  and nothing has changed,  may want to take a deeper look into ones self,  chances are you will find where that change occurred inside.

Only one episode is left in this season and we haven’t heard if there will be a second season or not.  I’m really looking forward to seeing it.  its going to really sum up my whole thought process on this show.  Up to this point I really think the show has done a fairly accurate representation of how ONE style of Polyamory is initiated.  Something to remember is that there is no one true way for polyamory.  There isnt a cookie cutter design.  Polyamory is best practiced as individuals making connections with other individuals.  Even if those individuals are in other coupled or non coupled relationships.

Thanks to John Scott Shepherd  for putting together a great show. And also for mentioning my reviews in an interview.  I am happy to provide feedback and glad you like what you are hearing.  Also thank to the YOU ME Her Social media team for engaging with us on twitter and facebook.  I look forward to getting my umbrella soon!   I wish there was more time to get you all to come to Atlanta Poly Weekend this year.

You Me Her Ep 3 – No Penetration

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Picking up where we left off ….
Well atleast now we know how Izzy got their address.   She ran away from her date With Andy and “cyberstalked their address”  Very nice lead in to an increasingly awkward conversation.
A quick note about Andy,  It is possible I was to harsh on him.  After reading and learning more about Izzy’s character, as well as a commentator’s notes on their take away,  that situation could have all been just Izzy being to scared to commit to something at this time.  she is enjoying life and having fun.  Not ready to settle down. But she doesn’t know how to tell Andy that, and doesn’t want to hurt him, because he is a nice guy.

There are several minuets of stumbling conversation obviously all people in this are very nervous.  Id like to point out something about the way the show framed the people involved.  Jack and Emma are shown during this time almost joined at the hip. Standing as one, a couple, yet a unit….  While Izzy is shown, alone, moving around a lot, much like a free spirit, single.
Emma mentions she hasn’t done anything like this since college… then say, “omg I just used that line”  To which Jack responds, ” You said that to me” .  Hmmmm
In noticing how nervous she sounds in her own head, Izzy asks, ” Is my voice as shaky out loud?”
Emma and Jack decide its time for a relaxation and offer some wine..  Izzy goes to the wine rack and grabs the first 2 bottles she sees…  Jack and Emma stop her.  ” No NO NO Not that wine, thats for show.” They have a few glasses of wine but the nerves and tension are still there.  So Izzy decides to break out the weed as a relaxation helper.  And boy did that work… too well if you ask me.

As they are smoking and getting high,  they begin to talk about their actions in regards to each other. Emma and Jack talking about there masturbation sessions at work.  Then realizing how they may sound creepy, Emma stops and asks if Izzy is freaked out. (Awww checking on the emotional reaction) Izzy, “I’m way to self conscious to be upset, I am flattered that anyone would jack off to me. ” Laughs all around….  Then the look of  terror strikes Emma as she is faced with the reality that feelings are growing as she sees something in the way Jack looked at Izzy. (and maybe something about her own feelings?)
“So, we are all in agreeance that this is just a Business deal right?” Emma
Jack and Izzy agree.  Then Jack and Emma’s exchange is well  ……….businessy.
Emma and Jack begin to discuss how, what and when things will happen with Izzy.  However, they never once ask Izzy what she wants.  Izzy even calls them out for it at one point saying ” Thanks for remembering I’m in the room AND A HUMAN BEING”
A few more exchanges between Jack and Emma, as Izzy is gathering her things.  You can tell her feelings are hurt.  SHe is obviously emotionally impacted .  Then Emma says,  “we all agree this agreement is non Penetrative right?” Izzy, “Sure, what ever you want. But,  I will need to drop some regulars, so I have to charge you all a premium.  ANd I will need the month up front paid in full. Also, they sessions will be Monday through Thursday as Weekends are for NON PAYING relationships Only.  Clear? ”  Emma, confused, “yea” Izzy takes her weed and leaves.  Jack and Emma look very confused as to what just happened. Maybe its the weed…. but it doesn’t seem to click.  * I wish I had the video clips to add in here because it really makes the point better than I can with text*

So, I want to stop here for a moment and call this scene for what it is and applaud the show writers for making this happen.   Have you ever heard the term “Couple Privilege”?  Well, if not couple privilege exists when a couple places their terms, conditions, and expectations on a third person and doesn’t consult that person as to what they want, need, expect.  This scene was a FANTASTIC example of how couples exercise privilege.  Jack and Emma are using Izzy to better their marriage. They are discussing what they want as a unit to achieve through the use of Izzy.  They don’t check with her to see what she wants, they never ask about her feelings. Its almost as if they are in it for themselves. And the fact that when she gets up makes a huge scene about the situation they don’t react….  They aren’t connection the emotional side yet.  This happens VERY FREQUENTLY in early poly relationships involving couples, especially those that have been married or partnered for long periods of time.    I am REALLY happy they chose to put this in. (granted being stoned may have had something to do with their lack of response. but that’s another issue) /end rant/

The following day Jack and Emma are at a coffee shop and Emma mentions she thinks they were too businessy with Izzy and that they should be more careful.  Jack rebuts, “it is a business thing and we should keep it that way. That’s what it is.”  Emma asks,  “Why, to make sure ‘feelings’ don’t develop or something? I saw your googly eyes at Izzy last night.”
Jack gets very defensive and starts explaining his eye state was because he was high not making googly eyes.  Emma doesn’t buy it and pushes the issue until Jack is clearly done.  Then she asks, So who goes first? A few things back and forth then Emma declares, ” I will go first”.  Jack, WHY do you get to go first?’  Emma, ” Ladies first thats why”.  Jack,  WAIT WHAt,  that means Ill never go first (well once out of 3 but…) there are 2 ladies. How is that fair!???”   And then just like that, Emma slips off her shoe and reaches her foot across under the table and begins to give Jack a foot job.  Jack is clearly uncomfortable with this and he doth protest a little.  ” What?  Is this how we are going to decide things? ”  Emma Smiles biting her lip, “yep.  So I get to go first?  ”  Jack,  “Why am I so short sided about this? Yes sure.  Stupid Penis!”

Jack walks into work and the Dean is in his chair.  They talk for a few, Dean tells Jack about the vetting process for the job, there may be a drug test, and the Alumni Board will meet with him for a few hours on monday. In the mean time they will be reviewing his record at the school.  Jack is now worried, “We have drug testing?  I didnt know.” Dean, ” I think so cant remember the last time”  Jack, “WHat about will they really check my browser history?  That seems un, un, unAmerican,  or un something”  Dean, “They check everything, but you use incognito mode right?”  Jack “Whats Incognito mode?”

Emma and BFF are shopping for Emma some date clothes. They joke about “lezing her up” (personally I dont like this term or exchange . It comes off insensitive to the lesbian community as if looking a certain way makes one more lesbian.and more desirable.) They find an outfit that they think will be good.

Emma and Jack are back at home, Emma is getting ready for her date with Izzy. Jack has to go to a neighborhood party . Emma is supposed to be going with him but says “You’ll be fine, Ill only be an hour late.”
Izzy at her house getting ready for the date, conversing with her room mate RM “So they get some freaky marriage sex therapy what are you getting out of it?” Izzy, somewhat enthusiastically ” 16 sessions paid up front. SHould I wear these ?” holding up a pair of hideous (imo) pants .  RM without even looking “Nope”

Izzy and Emma meet at a restaurant. There seems to be a wait. Both mention how nervous they are and how neither of them would be able to eat. Izzy has an idea. SHe runs across the street to a store.  Next we see them walking side by side sharing a bottle. As Izzy passesit she says “Hot Damn, thats what it is called”.  Emma takes a swig, “Oh god I just exfoliated my mouth”. A few more steps and they stop stare at each other and kiss Emma pushing Izzy gently into the wall behind her in an embracing long kiss.  It is passionate, more than a fling or a passing kiss in the night …  there are fireworks in this kiss.  They break,  EMma says, “Come on I know a place”  Izzy, “A hotel?”  Emma “Better”

Meanwhile, Jack is stuck in suburban hell party with all his neighbors playing stupid games he doesn’t even want to play Frustrated with his neighbor who cant guess Marilyn Monroe, he throws in the towel…  His neighbor ask, “What is it with you tonight, You have been checking your watch like every two seconds”…. “It’s Emma, she is out with a colleague and should have been here by now.”   UH OH somebody broke their word and Jack is now freaking out with a million things in his head about what could be happening (how do I know, cause I’ve been there done that got the scars, and the t-shirt to cover them up with.  Also this show how culturally we are conditioned to NOT be truthful about our ethical nonmonogamous relationships with our friends and neighbors.  )  A toast is called congratulating one of Jack’s neighbors (the nosey one from last week’s episode) as ta new Alumni Board member of the local private school that…. you guessed it, Jack is going to be interviewed for DEAN!  She come over to the punch bowl and asks Jack “So how much ass kissing can you do in 3 days?”  More wine ma’dam? …..

Izzy and Emma are meanwhile making out whispering sweet nothings to each other and getting pretty hot and heavy on a roof top over looking a part of town.  I have to say, I’ve never done rooftop sex,  but it is on my list.   As they are gently kissing exploring , striping down their clothes, its apparent that this is going to be more than snuggles and comfort.  Then one of the sweetest things I have ever heard was said.  Izzy” That freckle on your cheek is one of my favorite things about you. ”  Emma,  “I hated it. As a kid I would try to scratch it off.”  Izzy,  “Thats stupid, dont scratch it off.”  Emma “Ok, I won’t”  These words were with such a tenderness and kindness, that you could tell there were genuine feelings behind them.  I’m a little teary eyed now thinking about it. It was really sweet.  Then this… “Opps, I think we just broke the no penetration rule”.   UM…… Ok so now we are late, and broke the rule…..

Jack lying in bed, awake,hours after the party,  snuggling the dog hears the door knob, pretends to be asleep even starts to fake snore.  Emma comes in noticings him faking it and calls him on it.  He starts to initiate sex, but Emma says, ” Oh baby I can’t. If I cum one more time, I think Ill shrivel up”
Jack is WIDE AWAKE now and you can see the hurt and the pain in his face.    “What? WHat do you mean?  how many orgasams?  I thought we agreed?”  ALl the fears he had earlier were coming true….   Emma ” I took her to the roof. ”  Jack “What roof? OUR ROOF?!  How could you that’s our spot we… ” He rolls over and is obviously mad, hurt, envious and jealousy.  Emma trying hard to console him says, ” Are you going to sleep like this?  ANgry?”  Jack responds “Yes angry” She then says, “MAybe a little jealousy is good for both of us?”  Jack says, almost like a kid who didnt get to play with his toy, ” When its my turn Im going to cum like a million times.” Emma laughs “a million huh? Oh really ? WHere?” Jack, ” On every rooftop in the city.” He cant hold back the laughter and they rool together and hug.

Izzy at home, alone, in her bed, staring at a picture of Emma that she took on her phone, smiles softly.  Then, reaches into her waistband and starts to masturbate to the photograph, and the memory.  Her room mate barges in without knocking to ask something then stops ” What are you doing?!”  Izzy “uh… Sleeping”  RM  “Like HELL” Walks over sees the phone and takes it from Izzy…. “Oh my”…….

Roll credits.

So a couple things I want to point out that this episode highlighted.

1 Couple Privilege (Already discussed)
1a Unicorn Hunting.   Ok…  So, part of what is happening is that Izzy has been unicorned.  She is the Perfect fit for this couple and the perfect HBB (Hot bi babe) that can fill the void in this married couple.  Unicorn hunting is highly frowned upon in many poly communities because it promotes couple privilege and objectifies the third person in the relationship.
2 The conversation about Izzy’s wants, needs, and expectations still was not had on camera.  Emma’s remorse was not fully detailed to Izzy.  I hope a bigger conversation about this is coming.
3 Emma and Jack at the end having laughter is good,  but they need to have the conversation about where that jealousy is coming from. Jealousy can be a good thing, if managed properly, discussed and dealt with accordingly.  But it can also be destructive and unpredictable.  I have the feeling that they will have this conversation,  WHat, why, and how to prevent it in the future….
Personally I think the jealousy isnt jealousy at all but rather Envy….  He isnt mad that Emma got something,  He feels that he was left out and didnt get something.  He went to the party, did all the things he said he would, but didnt have the fun and exciting time that Emma had.   That is Eny
4 Emma and Izzy are in heavy NRE.  and they are making very common mistakes of NRE.   Check out my write up on NRE .
5 Emma, fessed up and told the truth about what happened.  Im here to tell you that is never easy.  But it is a requirement in relationships.  Especially in polyamorous ones where you agree to things, and then break that agreement.  Honesty is one of the cornerstones of healthy relationships.  Honesty is where trust is built.

Again I think the show is doing a really good job of telling the story in a very realistic way. Given the characters.
Is this the ONE AND True way to Polyamory?  No because such a way doesn’t exist…
Is this ONE way to polyamory?  Yes, and it is a common way for married people .  (Minus the escort part I think that is less common.)
Keep watching Tuesdays at 9pm. See you there!
Check out the behind the scenes Script to Screen video and background ideas here!

If you are looking for more information on Polyamory, Nonmonogamy or looking to find a community near you, Please send me a message.  I’d be happy to answer any questions.

 

You Me Her- First take

I watched it….  and I liked it here’s why.

First,  they call it a “PolyRomantic Comedy.”  They use the word “Polyamorous” in the advertising.
Second, they are not going all out big box big budget appeal to the masses. Its a small scale production that is dipping its toes in the waters, if you were.  Almost to see if the subject matter is appealing to viewers.
Third, it doesn’t look like the typical 3rd person affair/ lover in secret hollywood scripting.  This is much more Honest, open communication about what ,when, why and who.
Sitting there watching this story, I almost forgot that it was a fictional portrayal.  I mean I seriously felt as if I was watching my neighbors, or myself, on this show.  I think they did a great job with researching the topic and the producers really found a way to make this seem real.  I almost wonder how much “acting” there was at times because it all felt very natural.
At one point in the show, Emma (Rachel Blanchard) says to husband Jack (Greg Poelher)  ” I want to know everything that happened”.  I said out loud, “No you really dont. It wont help” .  Why?  Because I have lived this moment.  Early on in our explorations into Polyamory and Open Relationships.   On both sides…  I have been the husband that comes home to confess all that I did because I don’t like having secrets, and I have been the one who asks to hear “every single detail”  It’s not as easy as it looks in the show.  There are a lot of emotions going on and I almost wish they would have shown some of that.  So, to me this show is very emotionally connecting.  I was in tears by the end.
Yes, there were a few things that I wasn’t crazy about.  I am not prepared enough to go into detail about them and I want to see if the show handles them the way I think they will.

Overall,   I give it 3.5 out of 5 for a Premiere of a very close to home subject.   We will see how it progresses, but teasers for future episodes look promising!

If you want to watch You Me Her you can catch it on Direct TV and ATT Uverse  Audience Network (ch 239 ) Watch the Trailer